*I am an Enneagram enthusiast. It has impacted my life in profound ways, and I hope you will benefit from its teaching as well. Please always refer to the experts (an Enneagram teacher, certified coach, or counselor) — they know best!*

FIND YOUR ENNEAGRAM NUMBER!

The Enneagram is a personality typology based on people’s motivations. Instead of just telling you HOW you are (e.g. “an extrovert”), it reveals WHY you are the way you are (e.g. “I crave being around people because I equate attention with love”).

There are nine Enneagram types, which are denoted by numbers (1-9). The numbers are interrelated in a bunch of fascinating ways, but before we get too far along, you have to find YOUR number!

Try one of my favorite FREE online Enneagram tests:

https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/evaltest 

https://www.exploreyourtype.com/details

I KNOW MY NUMBER, SO NOW WHAT?

Knowing your basic number is the first step in uncovering The Enneagram. Once you’ve taken a test, the next step is obvious: Learn as much as you can about your number. 

There are a gazillion resources out there, and although the core information is common, the personality of each Enneagram expert is a bit different. I find that a good, comprehensive online resource is The Enneagram Institute. (Just click on your number and read up!) There are also a number of wonderful books out there like this one and this one. If you’re into podcasts, search “Enneagram” and listen to a few until one resonates with you. (I am OBSESSED with Typology personally. #ianmorgancronforlife) Basically, browse around until you find a voice in The Enneagram space that talks to you.

As you’re reading about the number the test assigned to you, ask yourself: Does this information sound like me? In my personal experience, seeing my inner motivations (some of which I was unaware of, some of which I had never put into words) written down for the first time was HORRIBLE. I felt vulnerable, embarrassed, and exposed. It’s pretty common to find your number, focus only on the negative things you read about it, and automatically think, “No way — that’s not me. I don’t seek out attention! (I’m looking at you, fellow Threes.)” It’s totally understandable and normal. Most likely, it is You, just not the You you’d like to believe you are. And that’s okay. It gets better, I promise! 

That being said, there are cases where the test didn’t pin down your type accurately. So if you truly, honestly, deep down feel like you don’t identify with what the information says about your number, read up a bit on the other eight types and see if one rings true for you. The Enneagram Institute has a really cool page called “Misidentifications.” Once you find your true number, use this resource to understand the commonalities and reasons the numbers might get confused.

Another interesting tip if you’re waffling about your true number: You can kinda’ double check yourself using another great Enneagram Institute resource, “Relationships (Type Combinations).” Click on the number of your spouse, significant other, or someone close to you. The first half will be strengths of the relationship; the second half will be the weaknesses. Once again, reading things about your relationship can be uncomfortable, but it can also solidify that your number is accurate. Are there truths listed there (even if you don’t like them)?

A helpful next step after learning about your inner motivation is to learn about others’. Engage others about their Enneagram numbers. Read up on the other numbers. Start asking around if other people know their Enneagram type. What has been their experience with it? Has it rung true? What have they learned about themselves? Are their things under their number that they don’t identify with? Struggle with?

I never considered myself entirely UNempathetic, but now as soon as someone tells me their number, I have a very genuine starting point to understanding why they think/say/do the things they do. And once we understand that, for example, our spouse is literally wired AGAINST routine and never will be a 9-5er (#truestory, Sevens), we can begin to understand the “why” behind the behaviors that drive us crazy. And knowing is half the battle. Or something like that. 😉

Let’s be transparent: It took a hot second for me to deal with my own Enneagram typing. (In fact, it’s been a year, and it feels like I’m still scratching at the surface.) However, with each realization and admission about my motivations, I’m becoming a healthier Three, and a big part of that journey has been talking to others about my own actions. Ask those closest to you for some honest feedback. It’s not always pleasant (or never pleasant, it seems, haha!), but the reality is that we have to face ourselves — the good and the bad — in order to know who we’re really dealing with inside. I personally have found that honest feedback is hard to come by, so ease your friends and family into speaking candid truth to you. Take it all gracefully and gently, especially when it’s something you don’t believe about yourself. It may take some time to realize that they’re right or to figure out why you’ve given them that impression without meaning to.

After you’ve gotten that honest feedback, it’s time to take a good look in the mirror. Find a starting point within yourself and then figure out where you want to go from here.The work of The Enneagram (that is, challenging the crummy side and fostering the good side of our natural personality) has to be done by you. In fact, only you can do it. It will be hard, but it will be worthwhile. Of that I’m sure.

Next we’ll talk about The Enneagram’s many layers. Your personality is more than just a simple number — in fact your number is just the start! So, if something you’ve read about your number doesn’t add up, be sure to read the upcoming post, “A Quick Guide to the Enneagram.”